Healthy Relationships and Mindsets

Have you ever noticed how certain people can bring your mood down?  Every word that comes out of their mouth is either a complaint or a negative remark about their life situation or about somebody else.  It’s as if each word is a spew of negativity.  Although we can’t avoid some relationships, in other instances we make the choice to surround ourselves with certain individuals.  We also make the choice on whether or not we will bring positivity into someone else’s life or if we will do otherwise.    

Healthy relationships are key to great health.  Similar to foods that are better for our health that we should eat more of, we need to surround ourselves with people that will uplift our spirits and should try to have more of these relationships in our lives.  Several people can say they have a lot of friends, but it’s those relationships where you can reveal the most vulnerable you that are the most important.  Keeping certain emotions bottled in is not healthy, meanwhile telling any and everyone your problems perhaps is not the healthiest as well.  Likewise, seeking comfort in external and numbing pleasures--such as legal or illegal drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, and even shopping--fail to address these underlying issues (trust me, I've been there; but perhaps, we've all been there at some point!).  Finding a healthy medium through solid relationships and friendships is key.  We are not islands!

Keep friends and nurture relationships that foster positivity--positive outlooks, perspectives, and lifestyle choices.   Negative situations can always be looked at from two angles, either something that was brought upon to overcome and learn from or to loathe and complain about.  Positive outlooks, however, are essential for fostering a healthy mind and spirit.  And for those negative relationships that we can’t avoid, it’s helpful to consider your personal growth in responding to these individuals.    

If you are reading this objectively and find that you are that negative person who often complains, perhaps it is time to take a critical evaluation of yourself.  We have control of this life.  Although some complaining is healthy, pity parties are not the best for your growth in this journey.  We are not islands, but we also shouldn't use our neighbors or friends as life vests!!  If you wallow in your misfortune quite often, perhaps you should try sitting on someone’s couch to talk about your problems.  And by that someone, I mean professional help.  I am a big proponent of seeking mental health services although it is not looked upon favorably in some circles.  Therapy is a healthy way to get things off of your chest and out of your body.  Although hard to prove scientifically, I strongly believe that strong emotions and/or feelings that are not addressed or released are detrimental to our health.  

We all have problems in this life, but it’s how you deal with these issues and who you surround yourself with that make all the difference.  Healthy, open, nurturing, and honest relationships are key to a healthy mindset and a healthier you. 


To see a thought-provoking and inspiring interview with the Dalai Lama promoting positive outlooks and perspectives, go to the videos page.   

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on mental health or psychotherapy, but we all have unique life experiences that shape our perspectives and personal insights.